Leading with Care: Reflections on Women Supporting Women in Educational Leadership
By Jessica Delgado
At the recent 23rd ISS Mary Anne Haas Women’s Symposium in Princeton, New Jersey, a mighty group of inspiring wonder women had the privilege of honoring the legacy of Mary Anne Haas, a leader who taught us that connection and care are the foundation of strong, community driven leadership. We were reminded that when women uplift and support one another, the impact is immediate, and the ripple effect is long lasting.
The symposium opened with the wise words of Fran Prolman, President and Senior Consultant of the Learning Collaborative, who offered an honest reflection on the reality of leadership and loneliness. “Count on it,” she told us. “And plan for it.”
Her session was a powerful reminder that leadership does not have to be isolating if we are intentional about building networks that normalize the experience of loneliness and self-doubt - helping us to stay grounded, connected, and sane. In doing so, we raise each other up, letting go of the scarcity mindset and creating more opportunities, not just for ourselves, but for those around us.
Among her practical advice were words that struck a deep chord:
- Who’s at your kitchen table? (Michelle Obama)
- Don’t neglect your kitchen table.
- Surrender to Fears - forge ahead.
- Ask for help.
- Develop a thick skin.
- Lead from your humanity.
- Broaden your “friendcabulary” - make friends in unexpected places.
- If you’re lonely, acknowledge it.
These insights led me to reflect on two incredible women who sat at my own kitchen table this past school year - as trusted leaders, colleagues, and friends. Together, we laughed, listened, planned, and problem-solved. They reminded me that leadership is not meant to be walked alone. It is built through circles of trust, care, and courageous conversations.
Meet My Kitchen Table: Jessica, Maki and Julie
currently serving as the Lower School Principal at the International Community School of Abidjan. I’m a Third Culture Kid and a second-generation international school educator. My path has taken me through Paraguay, Spain, Egypt, Bolivia, the U.S., and now Côte d’Ivoire. I feel most grounded in nature and most energized in the presence of good company. I smile a lot at school.
currently serving as the Elementary School Principal at the Santa Cruz Cooperative School in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. She is a Third Culture Kid who grew up going to international schools, and is originally from Japan. She has studied, worked, and lived in about 12 countries and loves learning about different cultures and countries. She truly believes in #bettertogether when leading, and she is passionate about being the cheerleader for everyone she works with.
currently serving as the Elementary School Principal at the Anglo-American school of Sofia-Bulgaria. Originally from France she has now spent as much time teaching and leading overseas than she has living in France. She loves all aspects of school life, from curriculum work to strategic planning, from teacher collaboration to parent partnership, all to enhance the students’ experience. An extrovert who could not succeed without other’s support and feedback.
We met in the most unconventional way: as finalists for the same leadership role.
Our entire multi-day campus visit was shared - from dinner upon arriving to our last lunch before departure. We toured the school and the city side by side. Shared breakfast. Shared cars. Shared break rooms. Shared nerves. What could have been uncomfortable or competitive turned into connection, support, and genuine joy.
“Thank you for sharing that experience with me. It would not have been the same without your support, laughter, and kindness.”
“I am so thankful we went through this experience together. It made it less intense and stressful.”
“I hope that this isn’t a goodbye but the start of a new relationship and friendship to grow as leaders together.”
Don’t Neglect Your Kitchen Table
We each went on to accept leadership positions in different parts of the world. And yet, we committed to staying in touch, to helping one another through transition visits, international moves, and the many firsts of a new school year.
“I’m so happy for all of us! I may reach out next year for support.”
“We could organize monthly Zoom check-ins next year to share stories.”
“I would love this too. A safe space to share and support.”
Surrender to Fears – Forge Ahead
Though we found ourselves scattered across the world, we were united by the parallel challenges of school leadership. Some of these were unique to our contexts; many were strikingly similar. We created space for honest venting but we didn’t stop there. We listened deeply, offered encouragement, and generously shared resources and strategies that helped each of us move forward.
Our conversations spanned a wide range of leadership realities: scheduling complexities, student behavior and bullying, personnel challenges, classroom management, sharing job descriptions and staff presentations, discussing coaching relationships, the role of AI, navigating challenging parent interactions, managing coverage during absences, expanding learning support systems, building inclusive and culturally responsive curriculum, sharing about assistant teacher program models, and offering professional development ideas.
We leaned on one another, not for answers but for clarity, perspective, and strength. The challenges were real and so was our commitment to lead through them with purpose and care.
What began as encouragement turned into honest, reflective dialogue, empathy, and support.
Totally understand.
Totally hear you on that one.
That’s so tough.
Sorry to hear that.
Sheesh what a job we signed up for!!
Totally feel your pain.
I’m glad to hear it’s not just an issue here.
I’m feeling in good company after today’s exchange.
Perfect timing. I completely understand this.
We are totally on a similar page.
We Asked for Help
“I am always feeling like I’m letting someone down.”
“I feel so overwhelmed.”
“Our jobs are always going to be challenging, but the great thing is, the humanness and humbleness of showing that we are not perfect is also a great way for staff to connect with us."
We Developed Thick Skin
“So many competing priorities!”
“Sometimes, even with the best intentions, we can’t really win.”
“I’m pretty done worrying about people in the grumpy and sour face department.”
“Leave everything at school. Don’t think about it and worry about it, because it’s not worth your personal time.”
We Re-centered Ourselves
We offered compassion, presence, and perspective.
“Totally hear you on that one.”
“I’m glad to hear it’s not just an issue here.”
“Perfect timing. I completely understand this.”
We Led from Our Humanity
We asked one another the questions that matter:
Are your decisions well-informed and fair?
Did you do the best you could?
Is this what’s best for kids?
We Continued to Offer Support
“Stay strong.”
“We are all in this together.”
Thanks for this chat today - super interesting and affirming.”
“Since we’re sharing, here’s what we’ve started too.”
“So helpful to hear what you’ve done.”
“Don’t lose sleep over it. Learn from it and move on.”
We Broadened Our ‘Friendcabulary’
We met in the most unexpected place. It wasn’t just professional, we shared about life too.
“How are your kids doing?”
“I took a personal day on Friday and went to a yoga retreat.”
“I’m finally finding my tango groove.”
“What are your plans for the break?”
If You’re Lonely, Acknowledge It
We named it when it was hard.
“Who are your friends? Has it been easy or hard to navigate friendships being part of the leadership team?”
“I definitely hope for more friends.”
“It’s our first year and I think that adds to the reality that we had less time and brain space to do things outside of work.”
We Returned to Gratitude
At our kitchen table, across countries and time zones, we remembered how much gratitude matters.
“I was just telling a friend how much I love that we’re still in touch. It’s been so helpful”
“Thank you for being generous and humble and nonjudgmental.”
“I’m thankful for both of you and the opportunity we had to get to know each other.”
“Thank you for reminding me of what makes me happy - gratitude.”
Women Supporting Women
Maki, Julie, and I showed up for one another with courage, compassion, and curiosity, qualities our schools aim to nurture in children. This is the kind of leadership we hope to model and multiply.
The ISS Women’s Symposium ended with a dynamic panel discussion and a compelling quote from Madeleine Albright:
“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
It was a bold reminder of our collective responsibility - not just to lead, but to uplift. As we move forward, may we continue to show up for each other as Mary Anne Haas did, with care, honesty, and strength. Let us never underestimate the power of a kitchen table, a listening ear, or a woman who reaches back to bring another forward.
Thank you, ISS, Mary Anne Haas, Wonder Women, Maki, and Julie.